Be Yourself at Work and Why it's So Important

I recently saw an IG post about not bringing your personal life to work and it said that if someone asks you about your personal life you can say “Thanks for thinking of me, but I don’t discuss my personal life at work.”

Let me start by saying that this is a totally appropriate and great way to respond to a number of work conversations, and I completely support and appreciate boundaries. Use the above whenever needed.

One thing this post did remind me of was many of the very supportive ways sharing vulnerable things about my personal life created really great experiences for me. So this is a conversation about how both of these things can be true.

Additionally, I think there are a couple different reasons we hold back from sharing ourselves at work. One is the above, where we’re not comfortable with the level of intimacy. And second is that we believe we need to be a certain way or be a certain level of professional to share more of ourselves.

However, even when we want to come to work only as our “work” selves, we will still show up as our whole selves because we are humans, and it’s almost impossible to hide aspects of ourselves without it affecting how we do our work.

I had a situation where my grandmother was sick, and close to dying. I didn’t want to about it at work, so that I could avoid it, and work could be a distraction, even though keeping it to myself resulted in some “unexplained un-productivity.” When my mom called to tell me I should come home if I wanted to say good-bye, I eventually did tell my team. I went home and even extended my stay for a full week so I could be there when she passed. It was a busy time at work, but I also felt guilty and over worked to make sure my team didn’t feel abandoned. However, one of my teammates called me out and reminded me that I had proved myself and should take more time. All in, this allowed me to really say good-bye and be there for my mom. Because my team knew how much family meant to me, they could support my whole Self, not just “work Maria.”

I ended up doing the same thing for my nephew’s birth. By allowing my team “in” to my personal world, they could step up when I needed support.

On a less heavy note, sharing parts of your personal life allow teams to connect on a human level. When we connect on a human level, we become friends. And friends want to help their friends.

Consider your own friends and what you are willing to do to help them (even if it’s something you don’t like doing) if they are having a hard time.

This culture of friendship creates an environment of support, motivation to help and collaboration.

If you feel disconnected from your team or wanting to create a culture of healthy team collaboration, send me a message on the “Contact” page to set up a call with me to learn why you are disconnected and how to transform that into motivation and support.